Parents Perspective

This week I explored some personal dialogue between families dealing with issues of ODD on the Mayo Clinic site.  This site allows people to connect on various health issues and share information on what is affecting their life and seek advice from others who may have similar issues.

http://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussions/893-overcoming-odd

is the case of a 17 year old high school student with ODD who is having difficulty in unstructured areas such as on the bus, during school and in the locker room (without supervision).  His ability to graduation high school is being questioned.  In this case others commented based on their experience that he may need to go to a less restricted environment.  Another person suggested a physical outlet for him like playing a noncompetitive sport. This would help take out some of his energy.

A second family in the following attachment reports a 5 year old that most days just needs time out and redirection, but every two weeks or so she goes crazy for 48 hours breaking rules like harming family members, lying and stealing, busting through locked doors and cabinets.

http://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussions/217-my-child-is-5-and-has-adhd-and-odd---suggestions-i-need-help

A response to this plea for help suggests that taking things away and making her earn them is a much better punishment than time out (they get use to it and it's no big deal to them) and even popping her on the butt or holding her when she is in a rage.  Their son is currently in the hospital for a violent rage requiring Intensive In-home therapy as that is where most of his rages occur.  I suppose this implies the writer has experience, but one might question the effectiveness of their wisdom.

A few others suggested tools for positive reinforcement.  I can understand from these comments that it is important to understand a child's environment when they act out and look for patterns.  It is important to communicate this to parents and school support so that it may be possible to change the environment that makes them feel out of control.  Physical responses are believed to occur when they feel not in control.  Having a physical outlet such as hitting pillows or tearing paper can help.  Emotional responses from authority make things worse.  Finding a therapist and supplements were also suggested in the conversation.

I wonder what role physical spanking can play in instilling discipline.  One writer suggested that she saw a difference in the respect that was given to her husband who was known to spank her child.  Her child made life more chaotic and difficult with her and did not hold back in loving his father.  His father got respect because he spanked him.  She was an advocate of rewarding positive behavior, but acknowledge that what is important is that everyone needs to search for what works for the child and family.  With the mix of responses it is understood that there is no one solution, but many families hurting and trying to find a solution.

My relative says that maybe it is important to have a mix of the physical discipline and positive reinforcement.   She thinks that the child need to understand boundaries and know that they can do things right.  It seems like they are always getting into trouble and it probably feels worse emotionally to them particularly if they have siblings to compare themselves to.

If it is a child or adult, mental illness can significantly disrupt the lives of both the affected person and those who care about him or her, and it's normal - and healthy - to need help coping.  After reading these conversations I can understand the role of a mental health provider in helping people with strategies to enjoy and succeed in their own life without guilt.

Teachers are not mental health providers, but I would like to explore how a teacher can support a child and family with ODD.

Adults with ODD

From my last post I was wondering about what happens when a child with ODD grows up. Some of the questions I have asked include:

• Does this child still have ODD when they grow up?
• Does the family have to cope a different way than how its suggest to cope when they are a child?
• Does ODD slowly disappear in a person or does it get worse as they get older?

To help answer my questions I asked my family member if she believes that her son that is now 21 still has ODD and how the family copes with it. She said that he likes to do what he wants and when its not his choice he can get angry. Once he's angry he likes to have his space. He will walk off to cool down. She said that she believes he still has ODD but she wasn't sure. To follow what she was telling me I went online to see if I could find any information that supported the actions she had pointed out.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/9139.html

After reading a couple websites I had found this one. This website interested me because it says that as adults they are relentless when someone says they are wrong. That they tend to feel misunderstood and disliked. These were things that she had mentioned and that I have seen by being near him. The website also suggests that ODD is related to ADHD and ADHD medication and anger-management classes maybe helpful to manage the symptoms.

This article has made me wonder why I don't hear much about ODD. There were multiple websites, blogs, or comments that I had read where people mentioned there wasn't much information about adults with ODD. I'm wondering why this is when this article suggested ways to cope with it. It brings into question the experience of the people who are writing these articles when there isn't much written on it.

Ways to Cope

When thinking of things to blog about I began thinking about where my last post left me wondering. Once I had found out that if you say "never the less" or "regardless repeatedly and calmly it de-escalates the issue I mentioned it to my family member. I also asked her how she coped with her son refusing to do things she asked of him. She told me a story about how when she was driving he would get out of his car seat multiple times and refuse to sit in it. She said that her method of coping was giving him an ultimatum that he didn't like. In this situation she pulled over and told him that he had two choices. He had to choose between standing there and waiting for her to pick him up later or he could come with them and sit in his car seat. She said that this worked for her son but it might not be the best way to cope with a child who as ODD. I looked more into solutions or how a family might cope and after reading multiple articles this one really stuck out at me.

http://www.squidoo.com/Oppsitional-Defiant-Children

This article stuck out at me because it has 13 tips for families and how they can cope when they have a child with ODD in their family. I also noticed that from reading a couple websites most of them included some of the same key strategies to use when coping with ODD. They said to stay consistent, learn the child's warning signs, pick your battles, and look for positives. I am interested in finding out what happens when a child who has ODD gets older. Does the child still have Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Does the defiant behavior increase or decrease? Do the strategies or tips that are suggested still work or does the family have to find other ways to cope? I wonder if I can receive answers to my questions through research.

Solutions for ODD

Today I began looking for more information about ODD. After figuring out that ODD is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior towards authority figures, I had asked my family member for a situation that had happened where there child was doing this. She told me that there was one time she had went to go pick up her son from school and he wouldn't get in the car to go home. She kept trying to get him in the car by saying things like "lets go home" but he refused. This is an action that a "normal" child would have completed without hesitation but her son wouldn't. After I heard her story I was wondering what solutions or comments she could have made to help resolve this issue before it got worse.

http://www.guidancefacilitators.com/odd2.html

This is the website that I have found that listed some solutions or strategies to avoid conflict. The reason why this was so interesting to me was because if I had a child in my classroom who had ODD it would be very difficult to get this child to complete normal tasks throughout the day and I was wondering how you avoid conflict with your words. This article had mentioned to use the words "regardless" and "nevertheless" repetitively and calm because it will de-escalate the situation. This made me wonder that if my family member had said these words to her son if that would have calmed the situation down and if this is the only thing they have found to work. I will have to look more into this.

What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

Hi everyone! I have decided to explore Oppositional Defiant Disorder and how it effects families or other caregivers such as teachers. I chose to explore this disorder because there is someone in my family who has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I just recently found this information out and I wanted to look more into it. When I heard about Oppositional Defiant Disorder I began wondering what this included. In my mind 'Oppositional' meant the opposite. 'Defiant' meant completing inappropriate actions and then 'Disorder' meant that it doesn't just happen once. I also had some questions that popped into my head. These included:

• What is ODD?
• What are the symptoms?
• Does ODD last forever or will it eventually disappear?

I wanted to check to see if my thinking was right and to see if I could answer some of my questions, therefore I used the information my family member had gave me and went to use the resources on the internet. Below is a link that I found about Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

http://www.aacap.org/cs/ODD.ResourceCenter

This website was very helpful to me. It gave me more information about Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD. It includes frequently asked questions as well that had answered some of my questions that I had asked myself. It also provides information to parents or families by giving them ideas and places to go for help as well as books and other resources that could be used. I did notice that it says this website was last updated in 2009 which makes me wonder if there is new information out since then. I will have to continue my search to find out more information about Oppositional Defiant Disorder and how it effects families.